I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize