My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
