I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize