I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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