somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
