so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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