Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
