Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
