How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
