he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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