do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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