Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?

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(734): View more from Michigan

Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?

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(847): View more from Illinois

i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!

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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.

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(409): View more from Texas

Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.

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(979): View more from Texas

I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them

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(703): View more from Virginia

All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French

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