I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
