my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
should my penis look like a turkey
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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