dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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