dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize