I wannas sexs uuuuu
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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