If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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