At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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