We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
