After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
