so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
