if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
