end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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