doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
