Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Green mimosas i think yes
We talked him into tasing himself.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm both gender and math confused
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
