They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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