I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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