He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
