Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
