it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize