dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
