Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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