Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
