We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
oh god the rape fog is back!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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