She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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