Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
