i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
