Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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