I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
