Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize