Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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