bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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