I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
