I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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