My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
