Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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