Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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