so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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