it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize