roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
