problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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