Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
