If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
This baby is an asshole
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
