I skipped work to stalk him.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So squirting runs in the family.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
