I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
