I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we're making bets on your personal life
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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