Me too!
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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