I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
