Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize