u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
