i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
