thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
