HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
