I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
